


Show Me Where It Hurts

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Additional tags will be added as they become necessary, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Polyamory, Slow Burn, arasol - Freeform, gamradia, hi i ship gamradia b/c kin stuff, i also ship daveradia because of kin stuff, maayyyyyyybe smut, man this pleases me so much, my boys are beautiful, solfef, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-12-31 07:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12127053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Aradia Megido doesn't know Gamzee Makara or Dave Strider very well. There's a lot of potential for friendship there, a lot of potential for romance. If she ever got to know them, she would for sure become really close with them. Maybe even fall in love.Except that she already has a boyfriend. His name is Sollux. Sure things have been a little rough between them lately, but she loves him. Yes, she's polyamorous, but Sollux isn't okay with her having multiple partners, and she respects his wishes. So there's no way she would be able to date two other partners. Not with Sollux in her life. And he'll always be in her life,of course. Won't he?****UNDER RECONTRUCTION***I AM REWRITING THIS FIC, SO IT STOPS AT CHAPTER SEVEN ONLY TO BE RECONTINUED AS A NEW FIC. I WILL EVENTUALLY MOVE THE ORIGINAL CHAPTERS INTO ANOTHER STORY.This is very loosely inspired by a fic I found on fanfiction.net. It gave me the idea but I kinda ran with it, which is good because it's not some shitty ripoff!





	1. Night Encounters

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Modeling and Hitmen](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/324021) by WatWriting. 



Aradia Megido’s boots hit the sidewalk concrete rhythmically as she made her way down the dark street. Well, not completely dark. There were streetlamps lighting the way, but they were so distanced and faint, they didn’t help much. She had her knife up her jacket sleeve just in case, seeing as how she wasn’t in the best part of town.  
  
All she wanted was some graveyard dirt for a banishment spell to keep Vriska away from her. She was headed to the closest graveyard to her apartment, which was on the cusp of the moderately decent part of the city and the bad part of town.  
  
The street was deserted, which Aradia was thanking the gods for. As a moderately attractive female (she’d never really thought of herself that way, but she knew logically she must be. She was Japanese-American and Caucasian, tall-ish and curvy, and knew how to accessorize. She been an object of affection for many of her classmates over the years, although mostly creeps) out alone late at night, she knew the statistics of something bad happening to her were pretty high.  
  
Which was why her hackles raised at the sight of a person in a hoodie turning the corner and heading towards her.  
  
She slowed to a stop, as did the tall, masculine figure. She reached into her jacket sleeve and took out her knife, holding it in front of her. “Stay back.”  
  
“Aradia, right?” came a low, almost-but-not-quite rough voice, with an odd drawl that wasn’t an accent.  
  
“Gamzee?” Aradia lowered her knife.  
  
The figure lowered his hood, revealing a boy her age with brown-sugar skin and ringlets of black curls, down to about his shoulders and as messy as always. He was a friend of a friend of a friend, and Aradia knew just enough about him to trust him not to mug or rape her. She tucked her knife back up into her sleeve.  
  
“What’s a pretty little sister like yourself doing out so motherfucking late?” Gamzee asked, coming closer to her.  
  
“I need an ingredient for something.” Aradia replied vaguely. “What about you?”  
  
Gamzee shrugged. “Just walkin’ around.”  
  
“Fair enough.” Aradia nodded, and pulled a plastic bag from her vest pocket. “Wanna get some graveyard dirt with me?”  
  
Gamzee eyed the baggie and then her. She noticed he seemed to lack his usual relaxed smile; instead he looked like something was weighing heavy on his mind.  
  
He shrugged. “Ain’t got nothing any motherfuckin’ better to do. What you need it for?”  
  
“A banishment spell.” Aradia tucked the bag back into her pocket and started walking. Gamzee fell into step beside her, his long legs moving slower than hers so he wouldn’t leave her behind. “Someone’s been bugging me a bunch lately and I want her out of my fucking life forever.”  
  
“I feel that, babydoll.” Gamzee took a joint and a lighter out of his pocket.  
  
“You okay?” Aradia asked him. “You don’t seem like yourself.”  
  
Gamzee made a noncommittal noise and lit up, inhaling deeply.  
  
“Problems at home?” Aradia guessed.  
  
“You could say that.” Smoke curled from his mouth as he spoke, and he blew the rest out in a cloud. The smell made Aradia think of sage, although sage and weed did have different scents.  
  
“You wanna talk about it?” Aradia asked.  
  
Gamzee smiled at her. “Look at you, worryin’ about this motherfucker. You’re real cute, babydoll.”  
  
“I’ll take that as a ‘no.’” Aradia tried to ignore the flush coloring her face.  
  
“Oh shit, you got me.” Gamzee chuckled.  
  
The graveyard came into view.  
  
“Now,” Aradia started, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and digging through it. “Being here after sundown is illegal, so lay low and try not to attract attention.”  
  
“Gotcha.”  
  
She eyed him. “At least you’re wearing dark clothing. It’ll be hard to lay low with your height.”  
  
Gamzee shrugged. “I can be pretty stealthy if I fuckin’ wanna.”  
  
“Let’s put you in action, then.” Aradia pulled out a gardening shovel and crouch-ran into the graveyard, hiding behind the gravestones. Gamzee followed, surprisingly quiet as he walked.  
  
“I’m headed for that dirt path over there,” Aradia gestured with her shovel, whispering. “I don’t want any grass or anything.”  
  
“Why? Will it fuck up your spell?”  
  
“No, but it’s not as aesthetically pleasing and it feels like I’m a little kid who just tore grass out of the ground and put it in a bowl, instead of like a real live witch. I like feeling witchy."  
  
Gamzee nodded. “Understandable.”  
  
Aradia ran to the next target point, taking cover behind a headstone a few feet from the path. Then she calmly crawled over to the aforementioned path and started at it with her shovel as Gamzee followed. “Ugh, there are so many rocks. Do you have a flashlight on your phone? Can you shine it over here?”  
  
“Sure thing, babydoll.” Gamzee pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket and shone the light for her. Aradia started picking out the rocks and picking up “good” dirt to put in the bag. “Hey, how illegal is this?”  
  
“You mean how much trouble we’ll get in for being here?” Aradia asked absently. Gamzee nodded. “I don’t know. Why?”  
  
“Because someone’s walking around up that hill there and I think they’re about to see our light.”  
  
“What?!”  
  
“Hey! You!”  
  
“Shit!” Aradia hurried to finish filling her bag. “Gamzee, run!”  
  
Gamzee grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, then didn’t let go as they ran through, hurdling headstones and trying not to trip over roots from trees.  
  
“Stop! Get back here!”  
  
They did not stop, and continued running until they reached the end of the block, where Aradia ran out of breath and had to take a break. They leaned on the corner of the building, Aradia grinning as she tried to breathe.  
  
“You alright, babydoll?” Gamzee asked with a chuckle. Aradia nodded, her grin spreading wider.  
  
“That was fun,” she managed. “We should get going in case he tries to follow us.”  
  
“Get to going where?” Gamzee asked.  
  
“You wanna come over to my place?” Aradia invited. “I’ve got an entire pizza leftover from last night and I’m sure I’ve got drinks. Do you like Steven Universe? We could watch something on Netflix or Hulu or whatever.”  
  
Gamzee gave her a slow, lazy smile. “That sounds just fine to me.”  
  
Aradia beamed. “Let’s go then!”


	2. A Rocky Relationship

They’d stopped at a convenience store so Gamzee could get a drink called Faygo, citing it as his favorite and guaranteeing that she didn't have it. She didn’t have it, and when he encouraged her to try some she took a sip. It wasn’t too bad, but she still liked Dr. Pepper better.  
  
Aradia’s apartment neighborhood was called Lakeview. There was neither a lake nor a view, but the rent was cheap and the building wasn’t in too bad of shape, and Aradia liked it. She live in apartment 4C, and the elevator had been broken for months, so they had to climb four set of stairs while Aradia dug around in her backpack for her keys.  
  
“Got ‘em!” Aradia held up her keys triumphantly, and stuck them in the keyhole, unlocking the door and holding it open for her guest. “Welcome to my home!”  
  
The place was furnished well, a combination of the furniture she’d liked from her mother’s house and the least expensive, aesthetically appealing furniture she could buy. On the walls hung pictures of her and her friends, and a single photo of a man who could only be assumed to be her father. A small frame held faded clipping from a newspaper, in which Gamzee could see an older Asian woman standing by the side of some guy who was half cut out of the picture, evidently not important.  
  
There was a bookshelf filled with books and movies and knick-knacks, one of which was the skull of a ram. The rest were kinda witchy things; jars of herbs, crystals, etc. It was early summer, but there were already Halloween decorations up; skull-themed candle holders and incense holders, paper ghosts around the picture frames.  
  
“Gettin’ into the Halloween spirit?” Gamzee asked, pointing to one.  
  
Aradia snorted. “Nah, I just think this stuff’s really cool.”  
  
Gamzee nodded in approval. “Do what makes you happy, babydoll.”  
  
“Oh, I do.” Aradia grinned, making her way into the kitchen and opening the fridge.  
  
They proceeded to gather their food and drinks and sat in front of the TV, Aradia turning on Hulu to watch something.  
  
“You good with the Blair Witch Project?” Aradia asked.  
  
“I’m good with just about anything.” Gamzee replied. Aradia nodded and selected the movie. She loved horror movies, and the thrill they gave her. Heart pounding, blood pumping; it was the perfect way to remember how alive you are.  
  
They ate and watched, and then they watched another movie afterwards, offering commentary and advice to the characters on screen. Talking and laughing got them sitting closer together, which was natural. Aradia wasn’t alarmed when Gamzee started leaning on her either, or swung an arm around her shoulders; she’d heard from Tavros that Gamzee didn’t really get the whole “personal space” thing and was really affectionate.  
  
It was when his hand on her thigh started creeping upwards that she stopped him, taking his hand in both of hers.  
  
“What are you doing?” she asked with a smile.  
  
He looked confused. “I thought you invited me over to...”  
  
“What? Oh, no!” Aradia half-laughed, releasing his hand. “Oh, I’m sorry! I have a boyfriend, I’m with Sollux. I invited you over in a platonic way.”  
  
“Shit, sorry,” Gamzee didn’t seem too disappointed, and he only moved about an inch away, though he did take his arm off her shoulder. “My mistake.”  
  
“No, I should have made myself more clear, it’s my bad.” Aradia patted his arm.  
  
It didn’t change much, they still made fun of the movie and had a nice time. Soon the jiggling of a key in Aradia’s front door came, and Aradia turned around and rested her chin on the back of the couch. She grinned wide as the door swung open. “Hey Sollux!”  
  
“Hey,” Sollux said, rather lackluster. Aradia felt a pang of hurt, but she let it roll off her back. Sollux closed the door behind him and tucked his key into his pocket, then stopped. “Gamzee?”  
  
“Hey, hacker bro,” Gamzee waved a hand.  
  
“We ran into each other earlier and I invited him over for a movie or two.” Aradia explained.  
  
“You didn’t tell me he was coming over.” Sollux said lowly.  
  
Aradia half laughed, half scoffed. “I don’t have to tell you every time I invite a friend over to my apartment that you don’t live in, Sollux. For that matter, you didn’t tell me that you were coming over either, because if I had known, I most certainly would have given you some warning.”  
  
“If it’s gonna cause a problem I can leave,” Gamzee said. “Don’t wanna make no waves in your relationship.”  
  
“You’re fine, Gamzee.” Aradia glared at Sollux. “If my boyfriend has a problem with me having friends over, he knows where the door is.”  
  
Sollux glared right back at her. There was a moment of tense silence, and then he spat. “It’th _fine _, everything’th _fine _.”____  
  
“Good.” Aradia whirled around on her couch and sat down, huffing, and crossed her legs and arms.  
  
Everything was silent. Well, not completely silent. Sollux was doing something in the kitchen, but Aradia didn’t bother to turn around to see what it was.  
  
Gamzee stood up. “I should go, actually, it’s gettin’ late.”  
  
Aradia stood with him. “I’ll walk you to the door.”  
  
“It’s three feet away, babydoll.”  
  
“ _Babydoll _?!” Sollux nearly hissed.__  
  
Gamzee held his hands up. “Just a nickname, brother. Ain’t gettin’ my fucking flirt on with a sister who’s spoken for.”  
  
Sollux seethed but didn’t say anything else.  
  
“I’m sorry about him,” Aradia barely bothered to lower her voice. “Most nights he doesn’t seem to care what I do at all.”  
  
Gamzee frowned. He opened his mouth to say something, then with a glance at Sollux, rethought it. He inhaled and tried again with a sympathetic smile. “Some people don’t appreciate what they got because they’ve had it for so long it’s become the new normal.”  
  
Aradia smiled.  
  
“You got my number?” Gamzee asked. “I’m always down to chat or make movie night a recurring thing.”  
  
“That sounds fun, but I don’t think I have you in my contacts,” Aradia pulled her phone from her back pocket and started searching through it. “Yeah, I don’t have you. What’s your number?”  
  
Gamzee rattled off the digits and Aradia typed them in. “Okay, I got it. I’ll text you sometime.”  
  
“I’ll look forward to it,” Gamzee smiled. He opened the door and left, closing it behind him.  
  
The apartment was silent again. The TV dulled its brightness from inactivity.  
  
“Aradia, what the fuck.” Sollux asked flatly.  
  
“What do you _mean _, ‘Aradia what the fuck’?! _Sollux _, what the fuck!” Aradia yelled. “These last few weeks I couldn’t have been sitting right next to you completely naked and singing the Gravity Falls theme song at the top of my lungs and you wouldn’t have given me a second glance!”____  
  
“Exthcuthe me for coming over to my girlfriend’th houthe to thee her on a fucking date with thome pothead thon of a junkie!”  
  
“Leave Gamzee the fuck alone!” Aradia pounded her fist on the arm of the couch. “He’s a sweet guy! There’s nothing wrong with pot! His father’s actions don’t decide his own, and fuck you! That was not a date!”  
  
“Are you thure? I thee dinner and a movie.”  
  
“If you think that every time we sat in front of the television and ate counts as a date then you owe me a metric shit ton of real dates.” Aradia proclaimed, and then stormed into her room to slam the door behind her.  
  
She leaned against the back of the door, cover her face with a hands and taking a deep breath. Of course they’d have a fight the first time he noticed her in two weeks.  
  
She took another deep breath. In for eight seconds, hold for five, out for ten. Then she stopped leaning and lifted her shirt over her head, getting ready for bed.  
  
Her nightgown was a bit elegant, but then so was her bedroom. She’d themed her bedroom differently then the rest of the house; couldn't have too much of the same thing, or else she’d get sick of it.  
  
Her room was composed of furniture she’d stolen from her mother’s long-unused bedroom; a wooden four-poster bed complete with curtains and an elegant carve to the wood, a matching dresser, a matching dresser and vanity. The wood was the deep reddish-brown that Aradia liked, and the curtains and bedsheets as well as the seat of the chair to the vanity were a deep, dark red.  
  
Aradia’s nightgown, though, was pure white. It had off-the-shoulder sleeves that really weren’t sleeves but an extra truft of fabric covering her arms and cirling around her. The rest of the nightgown was formless, loose and flowy and thin enough to almost be transparent.  
  
Before climbing into bed, though (knowing Sollux would lock the door when he left), Aradia went to the vanity and wound up her music box.  
The music box as the one thing in the room that had always been hers. It wasn’t even really a box; the comb and cylinder (the par that made the music) were out in the open, bare and exposed and only accompanied by the handle. They were mounted in bright blue quartz that faded to a pretty purple by the flat bottom. It gave the room a steampunk witch vibe, and Aradia was into it.  
  
Aradia turned the crank, rewinding it until it was taut, and then let it play. It was a pretty little melody she hadn’t heard anywhere else. She couldn't remember where she’d gotten her music box. Her father hadn’t seen it before she showed him, and her mother was hardly around long enough to ask about it.  
With the calming notes of her music box, Aradia was able to fall asleep peacefully.


	3. Insomnia

But the music box didn’t work all the time. Over the next several days, Aradia found herself barely able to get any sleep at all. She tried everything; hot tea, staying off of her electronics close to bedtime, staying away from caffeine. The only thing that worked against her sudden bout of insomnia was belladonna; but belladonna was actually extrememly poisonous and she didn’t want to risk messing up her proportions.  
  
So the next time she found herself unable to sleep, Aradia rolled over to see if anyone she knew was online.  
Pesterchum was a fun app to role play on. She’d used it when she was younger and more into role playing with her friends, but she still used it even if she didn’t do that anymore.  
  
Oh, Karkat had a memo open. She joined.

apocalypseArisen [AA] joined memo at 12:23 AM  
AA: hey guys  
TC: hEy BaByDoLl  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING UP THIS LATE  
CG: DON’T YOU HAVE WORK OR SOME SHIT  
AA: n0t t0night. t0m0rr0w m0rning.  
AA: well  
AA: this m0rning, i guess  
CG: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING  
AA: i haven’t been able t0 sleep lately  
TC: mE nEiThEr  
AA: why haven’t y0u been sleeping?  
TC: mY dAd’S aN aSs AnD hAs BeEn DoIn NoIsY sHiT aLl NiGhT tHe PaSt FeW dAyS  
AA: n0isy shit?  
TC: FuCk If I kNoW  
TC: i’M hIgH oFf My AsS  
AA: pff  
AA: where’s that “g0d i wish that were me” meme  
AA: i have it 0n my ph0ne s0mewhere  
TC: i’D oFfEr YoU sOmE bUt I aIn’T iN a GoOd StAtE tO lEaVe ThE hOuSe  
CG: GAMZEE DID YOU REALLY JUST OFFER TO SHARE YOUR POT?  
TC: yEaH bRo, ArAdIa’S pReTtY cOoL  
AA: aw that’s sweet 0f y0u gamzee but i didn’t really mean it ^u^;  
CG: ARADIA IF GAMZEE SHARES HIS POT WITH YOU HE’LL DIE FOR YOU, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?  
AA: ...  
TC: iT’s AlL gOoD bAbYdOlL :o)  
AA: n0 n0w i feel bad f0r refusing  
AA: sh0uld i c0me 0ver?  
CG: YOU’RE GOING TO GAMZEE’S HOUSE TO SMOKE WEED.  
AA: yeah  
AA: why n0t  
TC: iT’s GoOd FoR rElAxIn :o)  
AA: maybe i’ll finally get s0me sleep 0u0  
AA: wait that l00ks stupid  
TC: i ThInK iT lOoKs FiNe  
AA: aww thanks 0u0  
AA: send me y0ur c00rds?  
terminallyCapricious [TC] sent [COORDINATES] at 12:38 AM  
CG: ARADIA DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN WE WERE THIRTEEN AND SOLLUX TOOK SLICK’S CIGARETTES TO PROVE THAT HE WAS JUST AS BADASS AS YOU WERE AND YOU COUNTERED BY LIGHTING ONE AND TAKING A DEEP DRAG?  
AA: ...  
CG: AND YOU COUGHED SO HARD YOU STARTED CRYING AND THREW THE REST OF THE BOX INTO THE CAVE YOU WERE “EXCAVATING”? REMEMBER THAT?  
AA: ...n0  
AA: ...n0 i d0 n0t  
AA: and neither d0 y0u if y0u kn0w what’s g00d f0r y0u  
CG: DO WHAT YOU WANT, I’M JUST SAYING IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK OUT THE WAY YOU WANT IT TOO.  
AA: -_-  
AA: anyway gamzee i’m 0n my way  
TC: CoOl  
TC: oN yOuR wAy WhErE?  
AA: t0 y0ur h0use, remember?  
TC: oH sHiT yEaH!  
TC: I’m HiGh As FuCk RiGhT nOw  
AA: i c0uldn't tell 0u0  
CG: FUCK I’M TIRED.  
AA: g0 t0 bed!!  
CG: I CAN’T  
CG: KANKRI HAS ME THIRD WHEELING ON HIS DATE WITH CRONUS TO DISCOURAGE CRONUS FROM MAKING ANY MOVES BECAUSE KANKRI CAN’T FUCKING SAY NO TO THIS DOUCHE  
CG: WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND THEY’RE STARGAZNG AND I AM RIGHT IN BETWEEN THEM I HATE THIS  
AA: y0u’re such a g00d sibling  
AA: i w0uld never d0 that f0r damara  
CG: DAMARA WOULD NEVER ASK YOU TO  
CG: SHE’D EITHER SLEEP WITH THE GUY OR PUNCH HIM IN HE MOUTH  
AA: while that’s true i d0n’t like y0ur insinuati0n that my sister’s a slut.  
CG: IT DID SOUND LIKE I WAS SAYING THAT, I DIDN’T MEAN TO. SORRY.  
AA: y0u’re f0rgiven  
AA: gamzee  
AA: hyp0thetical questi0n  
TC: yEaH bAbYdOlL?  
AA: if s0me0ne were standing 0n y0ur street, l00king at y0ur h0use, which wind0w w0uld y0urs happen t0 be?  
TC: uHhHhH...  
TC: tHe MiDdLe OnE  
TC: oN tHe SeCoNd FlOoR  
AA: c00l  
CG: ARADIA NO  
CG: ARADIA  
CG: RESPOND PLEASE  
CG: GOD DAMN IT ARADIA

Aradia had slipped her phone into the ankle of her boot, doing a few quick stretches as she eyed the front of Gamzee’s house. Yeah, she could make this. She’d climbed more challenging thing while spelunking as a child, this wouldn’t be too hard. Even if she was only wearing her boots and a nightgown.  
  
Her fingers dug into the imperfections in the outside of the house and clung to the doorframe and windowsills. Easy. She pulled herself up on Gamzee’s, then quickly shifted her weight to one hand to rap on the outside of his window. It didn’t have a screen.  
  
She peered into his room, seeing Gamzee see her and jump, dropping his phone and his joint both. She tried not to giggle and unbalance herself. A fall from this height wouldn’t kill her if she landed right, but it would hurt like hell and probably break a bone.  
  
Gamzee scrambled for the joint before it scorched or set fire to his floor and looked back at her, red eyes wide. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and moved over to the window to open it.  
  
“Shit, babydoll, I thought you were a ghost or somethin’,” Gamzee gave her a dopey little smile and reached out to grab her arm.  
  
Aradia snickered and held her arm out too, grasping his forearm and letting him pull her inside. Once she tumbled onto the floor, she propped herself up. “I can’t blame you. When I was younger I used to wander around at night when I couldn’t sleep, like now, and i would scare the shit out of my dad. He said I looked like something from the Grudge.”  
  
“Dad of the year.” Gamzee raised his eyebrows.  
  
Just then there came a shattering, smashing sound from below them. Aradia raised an eyebrow as well. “Better than yours, it seems.”  
  
Gamzee looked out the window. “How’d you get up here?”  
  
“I climbed.” Aradia replied. She sat up correctly. “I used to spelunk a lot as a kid and I learned how to climb really well from that.”  
  
Gamzee looked out the window again. “Motherfuck.”  
  
She smiled, flattered, and looked around Gamzee’s room.  
  
It wasn’t a big room, but it wasn’t especially small either. The wood-paneled walls were covered in band posters and comic book posters and horror movie posters. His bed was just a mattress and a box spring, no frame, but his comforter and bedsheets were black with rainbow-colored paint splatter on the pillowcases. There were beanbag chairs too, and Aradia headed for one as soon as she saw it.  
  
“Is that what you wear to bed?” Gamzee asked, gesturing to Aradia’s nightgown. “It’s pretty.”  
  
“Thank you,” Aradia grinned, pleased by both the compliment and the fact that he neglected to acknowledge that her nightgown was actually pretty see-through.  
  
Gamzee moved a bean bag next to her and sat down in it, leaning back and taking a drag of his joint. He closed his eyes as he exhaled, blowing smoke at the ceiling. He was still dressed in daytime clothes, his usual outfit of a tank top and basketball shorts. Had he even tried to sleep?  
  
Aradia’s ankle had been buzzing with messages from Karkat, but she ignored that for a little more. “Are you doing okay?”  
  
Gamzee looked at her and smiled that dopey smile—but it was tired. “I don’t wanna get into it now, babydoll.”  
  
“Alright,” Aradia said. “But you can talk to me if you ever need to, okay? I’m here for you.”  
  
Gamzee smiled at her. “You’re real sweet.”  
  
Aradia took his hand and squeezed, smiling lightly. Gamzee squeezed back for a bit, then pulled his hand away. He took another drag from his joint and exhaled, and then held it out to her. “Wanna try it?”  
  
Aradia remembered that that was why she’d come in the first place and nodded. She hesitated to accept it, though, unsure of how to do... anything. “Um. How do I...?”  
  
“Here,” Gamzee took her hand again and fit the joint between her thumb and pointer finger. “Just put your lips on it and suck.”  
  
Aradia smothered a snicker. “I don’t know, Gamzee, I have a boyfriend. I kind of think that'd be crossing a line, you know?”  
  
Gamzee looked confused.  
  
“‘Put your lips on it and suck’?” Aradia repeated. “What else does it sound like you could be instructing me to do?”  
  
Gamzee did not look any less confused.  
  
“That’s almost exactly how Sollux asked me to give him a blowjob for the first time.” Aradia stated.  
  
Gamzee snorted, and then started laughing. He had a nice, contagious laugh, and Aradia found herself laughing with him at her own joke.  
  
“Alright, alright.” Gamzee grinned. “You’re gonna put your lips on it and suck real motherfuckin’ hard. Don’t be alarmed when some white stuff floods your mouth, it’s normal, you want that to happen.”  
  
Aradia laughed harder.  
  
“Don’t let it out of your mouth, though, let it go down your throat,” Gamzee’s voice dropped seductively. Aradia gasped for breath, laughing even harder, and took a short drag of the joint.  
  
And then proceeded to cough her lungs up.  
  
This amused Gamzee. “It gets easier the more you do it, babydoll.”  
  
Aradia couldn’t tell if he meant that innuendo or if it was an accident, but she was coughing too hard to laugh.  
  
The rest of the night, until sunrise, was spent getting Aradia baked out of her mind. She and Gamzee snuck out the backdoor and back to her house a few hours before she had to go to work. She then called in sick because there was no way she was going to last through an entire shift like that.  
  
The rest of the day was spent re-watching the Indiana Jones movies and forgetting that Gamzee was there until he said something and made her jump.  
  
She sobered up later that night. She didn’t know if it was just because the round of insomnia had passed or if it was the weed, but she slept pretty well that night.


	4. How It Starts

Aradia did have a job. It was a crappy waitressing part-time job, but it was a job nonetheless, and it kept her from being completely dependant on the checks her mother sent in with no other word. It was what the woman had done since Aradia was little; used to be that she lived with her sister in her mother’s house, though her mother was always away, working. Aradia was five when her father finally caught on that her mother was never around when he picked her up because she was literally never around, and he just never took Aradia back to her mother’s house. She’d gone back on her own sometimes, on her bike or in her car, because her father didn’t mind, but she lived primarily with him. When she turned eighteen, though, and moved out, checks from her mother started showing up at her new address. Aradia didn’t know how her mother had managed to keep tabs on her all these years when Aradia couldn’ even remember her face, but she somehow had.

If you were to ask Aradia, she’d say that she didn’t feel anything much towards her mother one way or the other. Truthfully, she kind of resented her. She still used her money to pay bills and buy groceries so she could save up her own paycheck in her savings account (she was up to a comfortable amount by now, she was very pleased), of course. She wasn’t dumb.

But her job was hard, and frustrating. Customer service was infuriating, and she couldn’t even get back at these assholes unless she wanted to get fired. She was groped and shouted at daily. She was condescended to and man-splained at, and she had so deal with the leers and suggestive comments from those who fetishized Asian girls and the subtle—or blatant—racism from others. Sometimes certain people ended up with spit in their food. Aradia, of course, wouldn’t know anything about that.

And when she got home, she was exhausted, like tonight.

She put her keys up on the hook by the door and flopped down on her couch with a sigh. It was quiet, save for the ticking of the clock.

Then she heard a key in the door and turned to face it as Sollux walked in. “Hey honey.”

“Hey.” Sollux replied, walking over to her. He kissed her cheek and sat down next to her on the couch. “I wath hoping to get here before you came home from work.”

“Why?”

“Take care of any choreth you needed doing, maybe thet out thome nithe clotheth for you to wear. Take you out to dinner.” Sollux kissed her cheek. “I’ve been an ath lately.”

“Yeah, you have been.” Aradia replied teasingly, kissing his cheek back. She was about to continue and comment on how sweet it was that he’d planned on taking her out and thank him, but he didn’t wait for her to go on.

“Fine, fuck you.”

“What? No, Sollux, I wasn’t—”

“No, I tried to be nithe today, you’re not having it.”

Frustration and a feeling of familiarity, boredom, welled up inside Aradia. She groaned loudly, covering her face with her hands and sliding down in her seat as Sollux stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“Maybe I should jutht leave and let you fuck Gamzee. Thee how great of a boyfriend he ith to you. Maybe you’ll be happy then.”

“Is this still about Gamzee?” Aradia sat up straight and turned around to peer over the top of the couch at Sollux in the kitchen.

“I know you went over to hith houthe, AA.”

“As his friend!”

“In the middle of the night? Thure.”

“Fuck you!” Aradia stood up and threw a couch pillow at him. It missed and crashed into the cup she used to hold the serving spoons. “I don’t have to explain myself to you! If you don’t trust me not to cheat, why are you still with me?!”

Sollux glared and didn’t say anything.

“Oh my god.” Aradia glared back. “You actually don’t trust me not to cheat and you can’t even give me a reason for why you’re staying.”

“I don’t want you being friendth with him.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Aradia stood up and stormed around the couch, grabbed her keys, and slammed the door behind her as she left.

Sollux didn’t follow her.

 

Aradia didn’t have a plan in mind for where to go. She wandered the streets, stewing, occasionally kicking angrily at the curb or a bush or a tree or something.

Their arguments ended up like this most of the time. She hated screaming matches, she’d heard horror stories from her father’s friends of what his fights with her mother were like before the divorce, but short of screaming the anger that Sollux riled up in her had little place to go. For a while she tried to channel it into exercise, except that exercise was a scheduled thing and their fights weren’t. There was violence, but she wasn’t keen on that, not with what her father did for a living. There was enough violence in her family for the entirety of the family. Not to mention that’s literally abuse, and abuse is shitty and awful and she could never do that to him.

So she walked out and walked around until she cooled down enough to get home.

This time, she ended up at a place without meaning to. As long as she was there, might as well see if her favorite stoner was home.

Aradia climbed up to the window and saw a mop of curls and knocked on the glass. Gamzee turned and smiled and opened the window. “Hey there, pretty lady. Come around here often?”

“I was in the neighborhood, decided to come hang out.” Aradia grinned, readjusting her hands on the windowsill so she had a better grip.

“Come on in here,” Gamzee leaned back and helped pull her in. “What’s eatin’ at you, babydoll? I can see fire in your eyes.”

Aradia gave him an “ugh” look and flopped onto the floor dramatically. Her blood was still boiling, of course, but she wasn’t about to take that out on him. “Mmm. I just want to punch the shit out of something.”

“God do I know that feel.” Gamzee leaned back on his hands. “You can punch me if you want.”

Aradia laughed. “Yeah. That’ll work out well.”

“Nah, go ahead. I can take it, babydoll.”

Aradia sat up. “I don’t even know how to throw a punch, Gamzee, I’d probably break my hand.”

“I’ll teach ya.” Gamzee offered. “I can teach you the rest of how to fight too, you should know if you’re gonna be going out alone all the time like you been.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Pretty girl like you’s an easy target if you can’t fight back.” Gamzee said, raising his eyebrows in an expression that said “It’s up to you, but if it were me I’d take the offer.”

“You have a point.” Aradia scowled. “And it probably would help me calm down.”

“Punching shit tends to do that.” Gamzee smirked.

“Alright.” Aradia shrugged. “I’m down to fight.”

And so Gamzee started teaching her how to fight, and they ended up spending a lot of time together that day. It was dark by the time they finished, and Aradia was oddly relaxed. Weirdly calm. Even after a day of work, she wasn’t usually this worn out, and she was happy in a exhausted way, like she used to be when she exercised. Which, this was a form of exercise, she guessed.

“I’ll walk you home.” Gamzee offered, standing up.

“That’s sweet of you,” Aradia began, about to decline. She thought better of it. “I really appreciate it, thank you.”

“Of course, babydoll.” Gamzee sat down beside her to put on his shoes and hoodie. After they were both prepped and ready to go outside Aradia started heading towards the window, but Gamzee grabbed her elbow and motioned to his bedroom door, then put a finger over his lips to indicate for her to be silent. Aradia nodded.

Gamzee was surprisingly quiet as he walked, for someone his height and build. Aradia supposed he had to learn to be quiet in this house. Gamzee hadn’t told her in so many words the kind of man that his father was, but one could easily safely assume.

The house was grand; big and expensively decorated... and empty. It didn’t feel like a home. It was soulless.

Gamzee lead her down some stairs and across the living room and out the door rather quickly, as if he couldn’t wait to get out of that house. Aradia couldn’t blame him,

They started down the street. It was completely dark. Aradia found herself grateful for Gamzee’s company; if he hadn’t offered to walk her home she would be out here by herself and yeah, that was a stupid idea.

They walked the way silent, save for their footsteps and the sound of Gamzee lighting up a joint. He offered it to Aradia, but she declined with a small smile. It wouldn’t help her patch things up after her fight if she came home high.

Gamzee walked her to her door. His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I’ll see you later.”

“Message me more often.” Aradia whispered, playfully punching his arm. He smiled, kissed the top of her head, and left.

She waited until he was out of sight of the door before going in.

Sollux jumped up from his seat in at the dining room table, half starting for her but freezing and simply clutching the edge of the table. “You’re back.”

“Yeah.” Aradia said, leaning against the door to close it and staying there. She was not at fault. She would not apologize.

Sollux nodded, swallowing. “Good. I wath getting worried.”

Aradia nodded back, not breaking eye contact.

“I’m thorry.” he said finally, defeated. “I overreacted. I jutht get tho jealouth thometimeth.”

“I forgive you,” Aradia said. “but it’s not okay. If we’re going to work, you’re going to have to trust me. I’ve never given you cause to mistrust me, and you do anyway. It’s not healthy for us.”

“I know.” Sollux stared at his shoes.

Aradia stepped forward, resting one of her hands on his shoulder and using the other to cup his face. She kissed him briefly and smiled at him, then ruffled his hair. “I’m gonna take a shower. Afterwards, we can watch something on Netflix or Hulu, order take out. How does Thai sound?”

“I’m more in the mood for fatht food, like Burger King or thomething.” Sollux rested his forehead to hers.

“You wanna run out and get some while i’m getting clean, then?” she asked.

“Thoundth like a plan.”


	5. A Day of Stress

terminallyCapricious [TC] began Pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] at 2:44 PM  
TC: hEy BaByDoLl, YoU gOoD tO cHaT?  
AA: i just g0t 0ff 0f w0rk, s0 yeah  
AA: what’s up?  
TC: ...AcTuAlLy, CaN i CoMe SeE yOu?  
AA: 0f c0urse  
AA: is everything 0kay?  
TC: nO  
TC: It MoThErFuCkIn AiN’t  
AA: what happened?  
TC: I’lL tElL yOu WhEn I fUcKiN gEt ThErE  
terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased Pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] at 2:51 PM  
AA: alright  
AA: see you when y0u get here

Aradia put her phone on her table and quickly changed out of her uniform into regular, comfortable clothes; a tight black camisole and a pair of men’s red plaid flannel pajama pants. She threw on a thick black hoodie over it, because it was autumn and getting chilly, but she didn’t zip it up. She pulled her curls back into a ponytail and washed her face of the grime and stress of the day, and as she was hanging up the wet rag to dry, she heard her front door open.

“Aradia?” Gamzee asked.

“I’m here,” Aradia walked back into her living room.

Gamzee looked pissed. There was a bruise blooming on his cheek—not one she’d created, their rule was not to aim for the face. Accidents happened, of course, but she was fairly certain she’d remember hitting him in the face hard enough to bruise.

“What happened?” she hurried closer to him and reach up to cup his face. He took several steps back, shaking his head.

“I ain’t in the mood to be fuckin touched right now.” Gamzee growled.

“You want to fight?” Aradia asked.

Gamzee laughed sourly. “I’ll admit I probably need ta take this out on a motherfucker, but I’d fucking decimate you.”

Aradia nodded and grabbed her boots, pulling them on and lacing them up. “Come on then.”

Gamzee raised an eyebrow at her.

“We’re going to go down to the graveyard and you’re gonna punch some trees or some shit.” Aradia stood up and grabbed her bag and Gamzee’s elbow. He shook her off, but followed her out the door. “And on the way you’re gonna tell me what happened.”

They went down the stairs and out the lobby doors and were on the sidewalk heading towards the graveyard when Gamzee finally spoke up.

“It’s my old man.” Gamzee got a disgusted look on his face. “He took my fucking weed. Hit me when I confronted him about it.”

“Why would he take your weed?” Aradia asked.

Gamzee snorted bitterly. “To piss me off. Motherfucker’s hooked on harder shit, he don’t need my stuff.”

“What an ass.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Gamzee spat. Aradia watched his hackles raise, the rage in his eyes burning bright.

“Then tell me about it.”

It was like a dam broke, bits and pieces of the concrete launching like a rocket with the force of hundreds of thousands of gallons of water behind it, taking more and more of the wall behind with it, until the wall crumbled and the flood gushed over her.

Aradia stood—or rather, walked—steady against it, standing tall. Gamzee vented the entire way to the graveyard, and when they arrived he was too busy talking to punch anything and instead sat on the graveyard bench beside her.

Eventually, Gamzee wound down and ran out of material to vent about. Aradia had been weaving flower crown out of the wildflowers growing around the bench, and laid on on top of his head.

“We should burn your father.” she said, grinning widely.

Gamzee glanced at her and gave her a little laugh, a small smile. “Sure thing, spookshow, let’s get right on that.”

“Spookshow?” Aradia asked. “That’s a new one.”

Gamzee raised an eyebrow, then broke into a wide, maniacal smile. “Gamzee, let’s burn your father! Let’s listen to the screaming as we watch his flesh melt! Let’s laugh at his funeral and dance on his grave!”

Aradia snorted as she laughed and shoved his arm. “Okay, okay, I’m creepy, I get it.”

“I won’t call ya Spookshow if you don’t like it.” Gamzee’s smile faded into a normal one.

“No, I do like it.” Aradia smiled back.

They sat, smiling for a while. Aradia was tempted to reach for his hand, so she slipped hers beneath her thighs.

The movement distracted Gamzee, and the eye contact and moment was broken. “Can we talk about this fantastic cleavage you’re showin’ off real quick?”

Aradia laughed and pulled her jacket around her. “Perve!”

Gamzee raised his hands palms-out, but grinned like a wild animal.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Aradia grinned.

“Yeah.” Gamzee took a deep breath. “I’m gonna have to meet with my dealer tonight. You can come with, if you want.”

“Nah, I think I’ll be good.” Aradia shook her head and stretched, raising her arms over her head. “I’m probably just going to chill at home, read a book or something.”

“Sounds like a good time.” Gamzee nodded, but his eyes were fixed on someone approaching from the grove of trees not too far off. “Is that Equius Zahhak?”

“Oh,” Aradia said, dread settling in her stomach. She stood up, hastily shoving what was left of the second flower crown she was making into her bag. “Oh no. We should go. We should go right now.”

“You okay?” Gamzee asked, standing up.

“That’s my stalker,” Aradia hissed.

“Your what?”

“Hello, Miss Megido,” said a breathy, deep voice that sent chills down Aradia’s spine.

She closed her eyes and made a pained whimpering sound before turning around. “Hi, Equius.”

He looked reverent and excited and nervous all at once. It was chilly out, but he was sweating profusely. He grinned with his broken and missing teeth and reached out to cup her face. Aradia recoiled, but he followed her.

“You look beautiful today,” he said.

“Please don’t touch me.” Aradia said.

He reached past her cheek and into her hair, dragging his fingers through it. “Aren’t you going to remark on my own appearance?”

Gamzee grabbed Equius wrist and twisted it outwards, away from Aradia. “She asked polietly not to fuckin’ touch her.”

Equius seemed not to notice. “Did you get my letter?”

Aradia took a step away from him. “Stay away from me.”

“I was quite proud of the poetry.” He reached out with his other hand.

Gamzee grabbed that one too and twisted Equius’s arms so that they were held behind him. “Motherfucker, don’t make me beat your ass a second time.”

“Get your hands off me, delinquent!” Equius spat back, finally acknowledging Gamzee and struggling against him.

“Get yourself home, babydoll.” Gamzee said to Aradia, calm as could be. “I can hold him for a good while.”

Aradia nodded and took off with a hurried thanks, her boots thudding against the ground and crunching against the leaves. She heard Equius shouting after her as she went, things like “beautiful asian goddess” and something about owing him something. She ignored it the best she could.

When she got into her apartment she slammed the door and locked the handle lock, the deadbolt, and the chain. She zipped up her hoodie all the way up and used a rag to scrub the feel of his hand off of her cheek and pulled the gun her father insisted she keep from under the bed and left it on the coffee table for easy access. Then she took Equius’s unopened letter from the trash can and ripped it up, tossing the shreds into the garbage disposal and running it. Then she took her phone from her bag and shot Gamzee a message.

AA: y0u alright? Did y0u get 0ut 0f there 0kay?

His answer was almost immediate.

TC: yEaH, i WaS aBoUt To AsK yOu ThE sAmE tHiNg  
AA: i’m 0kay  
TC: WhAt WaS ThAt AlL aBoUt? He StAlKs yOu?  
AA: he fetishizes asian girls, and f0r s0me reas0n he fixated 0n me and n0w he’s 0bsessed  
AA: i’ve bl0cked him 0n every f0rm 0f s0cial media i have an everything and he just keeps sending letters and making new acc0unts t0 message me fr0m  
AA: every few m0nths he sh0ws up at my h0use and will sit 0utside the d00r f0r h0urs waiting f0r me t0 leave 0r t0 c0me h0me  
AA: it was easier when i lived with my dad, he was scared 0f my dad  
TC: wHy DoN’t YoU gEt A rEsTrAiNiNg OrDeR oR sOmEtHiNg?  
AA: because if my father finds 0ut that he’s still stalking me he’ll kill him  
AA: literally, he will kill him  
AA: i can’t have that 0n my c0nscience  
TC: ...  
TC: WhO tHe FuCk Is YoUr FaThEr?  
AA: s0me0ne p0werful en0ugh t0 get away with it  
TC: yOu KnOw, I tHiNk He KiNdA dEsErVeS wHaTeVeR tHe HeLl YoUr FaThEr WoUlD dO tO hIm  
AA: we’re n0t g0ing there, gamzee  
TC: aLrIgHt  
TC: JuSt SaYiNg It SoUnDs LiKe ThIs HaS bEeN gOiNg On FoR yEaRs  
TC: iF iT wErE mE i’D dO sOmEtHiNg AbOuT iT  
AA: can we st0p talking ab0ut this?  
TC: YeAh  
TC: sOrRy  
AA: it’s 0kay  
AA: s0 when are y0u meeting y0ur dealer?  
TC: LaTeR tOnIgHt  
AA: g00d  
AA: i g0tta g0, alright? I have a thing i f0rg0t t0 d0  
AA: talk t0 y0u later 0u0  
TC: oF cOuRsE  
TC: TaKe caRe Of YoUrSeLf, SpOokShOw :o)  
AA: y0u t00  
AA: i need a nickname f0r y0u  
AA: i’ll figure s0mething 0ut  
AA: bye!!  
TC: ByE

Aradia glanced over to quadruple check the locks as the doorknob was jiggled again. She gripped the handle of her gun tightly and shot a quick message to Sollux.

AA: equius is here again, d0n’t c0me 0ver  
AA: and d0n’t tell any0ne, 0kay?

She put her phone on the table and settled in for several hours of solitude and terror.


	6. Angst Central Station

God, was Aradia glad Gamzee was willing to let her punch him. Sollux was infuriating all the time now, and Aradia couldn’t keep up with it. He was seeing her less often, talking to her less often, and yet somehow fighting with her more often. Physically fighting Gamzee was an excellent release for the frustration of the verbal fights that never seemed to get resolved.

It had been months since they’d started her “training,” and Aradia could actually see her body changing. Soft curves became supported by lean muscle, giving her a rather capable appearance she hadn’t had since puberty came and piled on the curves. She liked the change.

She liked Gamzee, too. He was heartfelt and kind to her, gentle and genuine. He seemed to actually enjoy spending time with her, and she definitely enjoyed her time with him. Whether it was blowing off steam or venting or listening to music (he played guitar!! He had an excellent singing voice!!) or getting high or just talking, she was always glad to have spent time with him.

And she liked being able to knock Gamzee on his ass. Sending him reeling, the resonance of a good solid hit, it all felt satisfying and invigorating at once. As did being sent sprawling, and being able to take a hit without flinching, being able to block his attack, even getting her ass kicked gave her a certain, indiscernible feeling of pleasure.

That was what she was doing now. She truly was, in fact, losing. Badly.

Aradia landed on her ass, hard, and was instantly shoved over onto her back. Gamzee’s forearm nearly cut off her breathing, his knees on either side of her hips, his hand planted on the ground to keep his full weight off of her.

They panted heavily, hot breath rolling over each others’ necks. Gamzee stared into her eyes, then his gaze flickered to her lips and back. Aradia would have flushed were she not already red-faced from effort of the fight. She found herself glancing at his lips too. She wondered what they would feel like against her own, what his piercings would feel like against her skin. She lifted a hand and gingerly laid it on the nape of his neck, threading her fingers through tangled curls.

His lips met hers, gentle but firm. She tilted her head for easier access and let him slip his tongue into her mouth. He tasted like soda and pot.

He moved his arm from her neck and moved it under her, lifting her as he sat up. She adjusted her legs so her thighs framed his hips and her ass was sat firmly in his lap. His arm was secured around her lower back, but he had a handful of her ass and was squeezing, and he moaned lightly when she wiggled it in his grip. Aradia couldn’t help but grin, breaking the kiss in the process. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and started lifting, and then Aradia’s ringtone screamed into the air.

Aradia jumped, scrambling away from Gamzee like she’d been stung. Gamzee glared at her bag, in which her phone resided.

Aradia opened the bag and pulled out her phone, trying not to sound breathless. “Hey, Sollux!”

“Hey AA.” Sollux replied, unenthused. “I’m not going to be able to make it over tonight.”

She felt disappointment and shame well up in her. “Why not?”

“I have a thing I need to go to that I forgot about. I’ll have to raincheck our date.”

Aradia closed her eyes and nodded. “I understand. Have a good time at your thing, okay?”

“Thure.” Sollux said. He hung up.

Aradia let the phone drop from her hand onto Gamzee’s bed. The room was silent for a minute.

“I guess we should talk about what just happened.” Aradia opened her eyes again.

“Nothing happened,” Gamzee replied with a wry smile. “You’re frustrated with your boy, your adrenaline’s runnin’, I was here. It’s all good, babydoll. It was just a kiss. He don’t need to know if you don’t want him to.”

Aradia nodded with a relieved, grateful laugh. “Right. You’re right. People kiss at the time. Family members kiss.”

“Exactly.”

“Thanks, Gamzee.”

“Of course.” Gamzee reach out poked her nose. “I ain’t lookin’ to cause trouble between you and Sollux.”

“I appreciate that.” Aradia put her phone back into her bag. “Well, Sollux canceled on our date tonight. Do you wanna come over, order a pizza, and watch horror movies until we’re too spooked to sleep?”

“Sounds like fun,” Gamzee replied.

It had only been a kiss. Really, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t important. Gamzee was right, it was hormones and frustration and easy access. She wouldn't let it happen again.

But her lips still tingled with the memory of his, even a few hours later. So she sat on the opposite side of the couch with her legs crossed and her feet in Gamzee’s lap. Maintain the distance.

A key jiggled in the lock before they’d even finished their pizza. Aradia turned, guilty and hopeful, to the door as Sollux opened it.

He smiled, but his face immediately dropped when he saw Gamzee. He pointed through the doorway. “Out.”

“Sollux—”

“OUT!” Sollux shouted. “I’m thick and tired of theeing your fucking fathe around here! Don’t ever come back here, do you underthtand me? I don’t want you to even THINK about AA from now on.”

Aradia gaped at him, shocked. Gamzee’s reply shocked her more.

“I don’t think that’s your decision to make, motherfucker.” he said, his voice threateningly low but calmer than a still lake.

“Exthcuthe me?” Sollux hissed. “AA ith my girlfriend. If I don’t want her to be friendth with thomeone, then she shoulnd’t be friendth with them.”

“That’s not how it works.” Gamzee sneered at him, standing up. “That’s not how any of it works. You know what you’re doing? You’re being controlling. You know what controlling your partner is? Abuse. You don’t get to decide who she talks to. She does.”

Aradia stayed silent. The tension in the room was thick enough for her too feel like she might choke on it.

“It’s your apartment, babydoll.” Gamzee turned to her, his voice somewhat lighter. “I’ll leave if you want me too.”

Aradia didn’t say anything. She got up, instead, and walked into her bedroom. She closed and locked her door.

Sollux hissed something, muffled by the door. Gamzee’s low voice gave a scathing reply. Back and forth a few times until they both were yelling, and then the front door slammed.

A fist pounding against the bedroom door made Aradia jump, but before she had time to calm, Sollux was shouting at her. “Aradia Megido, I thwear to god if you ever thee Gamzee Makara again, I’ll break up with you tho fatht you head will thpin.”

Aradia buried her head in her knees and didn’t respond.


	7. It's Going Down

Several days later, Aradia pushed open the door and stepped into her apartment, tired from work and at first too concerned with removing her coat to notice the sounds coming From her bedroom. But she did notice, when an unfamiliar fuschia coat was hanging on Aradia’s hook on the wall by the door caused her to halt in confusion.

No, she recognized it now. It was Feferi’s coat. But why would Feferi’s coat be—?

She turned her head towards the bedroom, hearing the moaning for what it was. Her bedroom door was wide open, light spilling out into the dark living room. No. He wouldn’t.

Aradia crept closer, taking care to silence her steps. She could see her bed, and in it—oh, god, why?

Feferi moaned and wrapped her arms around Sollux’s neck. “Mm, just like that! Yes!”

Aradia’s coat slipped from her fingers to the floor.

“Fuck,” Sollux whispered.

Aradia dizzily stepped back, the world spinning around her as her stomach dropped to her knees with a twisting, hollow feeling. She stumbled, bumping into the doorframe of the bathroom, and slipped inside quickly. She closed the door behind her and pushed the pin to lock it closed.

The blood rushed in her ears. She couldn’t believe this. He wouldn’t. Not in her home. Not in her bed. He had to respect her enough not to do that.

But he didn’t. She could hear a high-pitched squealing, and breathless laughter, the murmur of happy voices, footsteps.

The doorknob jiggled. Aradia clasped her hands over her mouth, resisting the temptation to throw herself against the door to block it.

“Sollux,” she heard a whine. “The door’s locked.”

“What do you mean, the door’th locked?” Sollux voice got clearer as her came closer. The knob jiggled again. “Huh. Thomeone mutht’ve pushed the pin on their way out. I’ll get AA to call maintenanthe about it.”

“Ugh, her place is so crappy. Why haven’t you dumped her yet?”

“She’th trying tho hard to make it work, I can’t jutht end it. I know she’th got Makara lined up to take my plathe but she theemth like she can’t tell that it’th coming.”

“God, I wish she would just go away.”

Sollux’s chuckle faded along with Feferi’s voice, and then stopped suddenly.

“What?” Feferi asked.

“That’th Aradia’th coat.”

“So?”

“Tho, it meanth she’th home.” stomping footsteps to the bathroom. The doorknob jiggled again. “Aradia! Aradia, come out, we can talk about thith!”

Aradia almost tripped over the edge of the bathtub, her vision blurring. She reached into her purse for her phone, fumbling with it. Somehow she managed to press the right buttons.

“Aradia, come on, don’t be such a guppy!” Feferi taunted. “This was a long time coming and you know it!”

The ringing in Aradia’s ear cut off. “Aradia? Fuck, Spookshow, I’ve been worried about you. Did you get my messages?”

“Gamzee, I need you to come pick me up.” Aradia’s voice wavered dangerously. She tried to take a deep breath and it came out as a sob, her throat burning with the effort of not crying.

Gamzee’s voice came back, sounding worried. “Of course, babydoll, what happened? Where are you?”

“Don’t call Gamzee! He ithn’t part of thith!”

“I’m at my apartment. Please be quick, I can’t— I need to—” Aradia gasped for breath, her hands shaking as she struggled to keep from crying.

“I’m on my way, I’ll be there real soon, okay? Hang on for me.”

Aradia made a noise that sounded like “okay” and hung up before she started sobbing. Someone pounded on the door.

“Damn it, Aradia! Other people don’t have to be involved in this! Grow up!” Feferi spat.

Aradia refused to acknowledge her. Or him. She focused on breathing, on not crying, on not letting them hear the little noises that escaped her.

She heard the door open, and Gamzee’s low voice carrying easily even if she couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying.

“It’th fine now, you didn’t need to come.” Sollux tried to say.

Aradia flung open the door and shoved him, barreling her way past Feferi and running to Gamzee. He met her with open arms and instantly wrapped her into a hug, petting her hair and shushing her gently.

He pushed her off then, guiding her behind him. His voice became icy with rage. “The fuck did you do to her?”

“Nothing!” Feferi yelled. “She just got home and freaked the fuck out!”

“He’s been seeing her behind my back,” Aradia managed to say.

Gamzee turned back to look at her, concerned.

“I found them in my bed.”

His concerned look turned into a disgusted one as he turned back. “You’re fucking nasty.”

“I have to get out of here.” Aradia grabbed her coat and started pulling it on. “Gamzee, please, get me out of here.”

Gamzee took Aradia by the arm and held her in front of him as they left, a sort of barrier between her and the two assholes in her apartment.

“I can’t believe he would do this,” Aradia tried to keep her voice steady as they headed down the stairs. She didn’t want Gamzee to have to see her cry. “We’ve been together since we were thirteen.”

Gamzee stopped on the landing and pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay, babydoll, I’ve got you.”

Aradia hugged him back briefly, but pulled away. “Not in public, I don’t wanna have a meltdown in front of people I don’t know.”

Gamzee nodded, taking her hand. “Come on.”

With Gamzee’s support and the cold night air, Aradia was able to keep it together until the got to his house, his room. Then she wrapped her arms around him, buried her face in his chest, and cried. It was the loud, snotty kind of crying where your body moves involuntarily, trying to curl you into a ball. Gamzee held her gently, sitting them on his bed, peeling her coat off, rubbing her back and running his fingers through her hair.

She had no idea how he could understand her, but as she sobbed she talked. About her, about Sollux, about her fears. About how she’ seen an end for them coming soon, but not this way. About how she’d spent the past three years as Sollux’s Girlfriend Aradia, trying to keep him from losing interest because after the first two he seemed not to like her as much. They'd never even had sex, and yet she found him fucking Feferi in her goddamn bed.

Her outpour turned into what a good friend Gamzee had become to her. He’d never let her down, he was good at curbing her anger, he was teaching her to fight, he showed his affection freely, he actually seemed to want to spend time with her and invited her places, he was sweet, he was intelligent, he was protective, and sure he had anger issues but she’d learned to help him with those pretty well. He was one of the best friends she’d ever had.

“It’s okay, babydoll,” Gamzee kissed to top of her head. “You feeling better?”

“Not really.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll do anything to help you, babydoll. What’s on your motherfuckin’ mind?”

Aradia looked up at him, wiping tears out of her eyes. She just wanted to get her mind off of Sollux, off of Feferi, she wanted to concentrate on Gamzee and his gentle hands and his comforting smell and his genuine smile and his soft lips—

His lips. Would that...?

“Would you sleep with me?”

Gamzee nodded and wiped away another tear that escaped. “If it’s what you want when you calm down some more.”

Aradia nodded and pressed her face against his shirt again. “I’m sorry I’m getting your shirt all snotty.”

“I said I’d do anything to make you feel better, and if that includes gettin’ my shirt all snotty then that’s fine with me.” Gamzee readjusted his arms so he was holding Aradia better.

With a few more comforting words, Aradia was calm enough to clean the tears and mucus off her face and sit up straight. But she chose instead to keep sitting in Gamzee’s lap with her head resting on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

Instead of answering, Gamzee took her chin and tilted her face up.

Their second kiss wasn’t like their first. Their first was confident, unquestioned. Their second was almost tentative, Gamzee more asking permission than kissing, and Aradia nervous, knowing what she wanted but unsure how to steer into that direction.

She must have done something right though, because before long the kiss picked up. He came at her harder, rougher, a graze of teeth against her lips. It made something inside her twist hungrily. She liked it, and matched his intensity.

She felt his smirk and laugh quietly, and when he came back to kissing her he bit down on her lip hard, lowering both of his hands to her hips and holding her still as he grinded up against her. Aradia responded with a light little moan and an attempt to roll her hips.

Things escalated pretty quickly after that. As they were throwing off their clothes Gamzee stopped to ask and make sure this was what she wanted. Aradia didn’t hesitate before saying yes.

It was hard and rough and wonderful, and Aradia enjoyed every second. Gamzee seemed to know exactly what he was doing and was very attentive, listening to her moans and paying attention when her hips jolted and her nails left marks on his back.

After they were finished, he held her again. Not to comfort, Aradia knew, but out of affection.

“Feel better?” he asked, kissing her shoulder. Aradia nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Gamzee replied. “I been wanting to do this for the longest fuckin’ time.”

“You have?” Aradia asked.

Gamzee nodded sleepily. Aradia suddenly remembered how late it was when she’d gotten home and rolled over to grab her phone. She had two missed calls from Sollux and two texts. She ignored them.

“Fuck, it’s three in the morning.” Aradia sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her legs initially buckled when she started to stand up—god, were they supposed to be so sore?—but she caught herself on the bed and righted herself. She turned around, looking to Gamzee, who hand an arm extended to catch her. “You probably want me out of here.”

Gamzee didn’t drop his arm, instead grabbing her wrist and pulling her back into the bed, wrapping her up in his arms. “Why would I all up and want you out, _mi milagrita_?”

“I don’t know.” Aradia flushed.

Gamzee kissed her neck. “You’re still my friend, babydoll. I want you here right now. And I don’t think you wanna go home at three a.m. to an apartment where your cheating boyfriend might be waiting for you, or to sleep in the bed where he fucked someone else.”

Aradia frowned. “I’m going to burn those sheets. And all of his stuff that I find in my apartment.”

“Sounds like a plan for tomorrow.” Gamzee nuzzled her neck. Aradia pulled the sheets around her again, a little thrill running through her when her bare body was pressed flushed against his.

Within a minute, Gamzee was asleep, and she followed soon after.


	8. Retcon Warning

So, I'm rereading this, and... I realize...

I can do better? I can do so much better. It's not even that my writing has improved much, it's just. I wasn't doing my best with this. You guys deserve better, and this story deserves better. I have better ideas for this.

So. Fair warning. I'm about to retcon this entire story. I'm going to end up changing that tags and the description and everything. I'm going to keep the original chapters for a while, but then later, if I can, I'm going to copy/paste them all into a separate story and just leave the new chapters. So yeah.

I'm glad y'all have liked it so far. I hope you'll like the retcon better :D


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